when it turns black

Monday, September 26, 2005

had a ubber cool day

11:50 AM

HEYS.
oh my. i think today is the coolest day of my life. i just cant stop loving it. guess what? i studied my social studies and history. COOL! after that i use the computer. and i made my own blogskin. ((: ya. i made two already. im still learning from TINGSHAN. she so cool.! yups. going to stop here.so byes.

`shesinlovewithblogskin.

MAYBE im right.
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back to nerdy world

1:33 AM

Lets just say ALOHA. ya. i just feel like saying ALOHA. i also dont know why. maybe because it sounds cheerful. anyways today morning kind of woke up abit early. around 8.40. ya.HAHA.i also dont know why i wake up so early. Anyhow, today is so called the 'study day '. studying is fun. studying is fun. im trying to physco myself. is physco the word to describe this? gosh. my english isnt that pro. HAHA. yup. planning to study after i blogged. ya. then will start studying my. ERM. social studies. history and my science. going studying the whole day long. ((: Dont know what else to blog. HMM.maybe later i blog again. LOL. byes.

`sheneedstostudy.soSHOO.

MAYBE im right.
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Sunday, September 25, 2005

TRASHING LIFE

11:12 AM

TRASH.
yes indeed. my life is a total trash. i myself have no freaking idea why. im so pissed by everything and everyone. even when im talking im like shouting. whats going on with me. this is totally not me. NOT ME. im so pissed. DRAG. bang- THIS SUCKS. anyways. im putting aside those stuff. I WILL TRY. okays.

where is the real natasha?

anyways.i was too bored at home just now so i cook spaghetti. the same one i cooked for practical examination.YA.then after eating i read the storybook. ya. later around 8 plus going to study. i must study. as i always tell myself. EOY IS THIS FRIDAY. and so i better do something or i will flung my examination this year. GOSH. thats horrible. now im trying to keep myself from not talking to anyone. scared i will just burst out. so ya. will be in my room from now on.my grandma just come, she is staying overnight.yups.anyways-

tomorrow is sunday.i have the full whole day to study.yup.but maybe i will use the computer for awhile.but i will study more. ya.i got to go now. so byes.

`imjustplainCONFUSE-

MAYBE im right.
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that so story book

3:50 AM

HEYS.
lets just say im obsess with books. STORY BOOKS i mean. i just dont know why. later i tell you.anyhow, today woke out rather early around eight. i was still tired though. but nevermind. so woke up and settle down. the person who is suppose to repair the phone line was suppose to be here by like one hour ago. but now still haven come. i also dont know why. but who cares. HAHA. ya. so just now around ten. i write down some notes for mathematics. then i wanted to do some filing. but i cant find the hole puncher. i search from room to room but i still cant find it. so i gave up and went out to buy it. then i suddenly remembered i need to pay my library FINE. it cost $10.30. so ya. paid by cashcard and then i browse around to borrow books. and in the end i borrowed three books. the books are nice. i started reading on one already. 'shopaholic takes manhattan'.dont know how long it takes for me to read but dont think i will be that long. im currently only at page 22. there is like 386 pages. HAHA. then ya. after that went home. was actually tempted to buy cheese fries but remembered i had some frozen fries at home. waiting for me to cook ((:

i think im getting weird. EOY is coming and im stuck with story books.but then i still find time to study. so it isnt so bad afterall. actually feel like sleeping now. BUT NO! i need to read and then study. yes. ARGH. not much people is online. are they busy studying or what? HMM. okays. later im going to write down notes for my social studies and history. plus my physics. as for biology. i got my notes already. so after that i should start studying already. well. its for my own good. i seriously think i wont be in the top 5 in class again. everyone in class is catching up. this is total scary. bang. should be thats all for now. so ya. blog soon. oh ya. people start studying okays?. oops.that includes me. ((:

`sheisinlovewithstorybooks.

MAYBE im right.
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Saturday, September 24, 2005

cries

12:40 PM

WOOSH.
actually felt like changing blogskin but dont know what to change to. ya and i do love the blogskin but i dont know whether i have the feeling for it. as in like the feeling that this is my blog. BUT. i will learn to love it. because its my blog after all. and anyways there isnt any other cool blogskin around now. even though i saw one. but its a little too squeezy and small and messy. even though its nice but it isnt my type like that. HAHA. loads of people have been changing their blog skin too.LOL. maybe its like the so called 'season' for changing. YEAH! thats lame. bangg. so ya i will still stay with this blogskin. ((:

argh.lets just say today sucks at around 12.45pm and after school. but will tell you later.okays. anyhow. today morning had normal daily assembly. and today is friday so TADA. 'school tie please'. ya. i know how to tie tie. but it still looks weird. its like how to say.ERM. it looks weird.GET IT. haha. so ask hui shan tie for me. MUST LEARN FROM HER HOW TO TIE PROPERLY.okays.then had reading period.it was okay because i was reading a book which i found at home yesterday.'secret of the successful student'. sounds stupid and nerdy? actually it isnt after all. its fun. it teaches me stupid things. should read it one day huh? its really hilarious.okays. then had english, at first it was a relief teacher. less than half an hour my english teacher came in. it was like HUH? so fast. then we go through some cloze passage that we were asked to do the other day. it was fun although i didnt score well except the first passage. looks like i need loads of practice. then around 9.15am. my english teacher left again. making the whole class do a newsletter report it was okay. i finished it as soon as possible so can relax later. and gosh! we got another free period. my form teacher did not come in. so enjoy. haha. after that was like recess. ate fried lontong. it was okay but too spicy. as in really spicy.then after recess was malay. it was kind of boring. instead totally boring.after that was history. did not study. teacher let us rest and yeah we joke around. HAHA. then when finish history it was like 'home period' because no assembly. yup. then in class was okay. then school end. oh ya as i was saying. i kind of hate today at around 12.45pm and after school. the 12.45pm dont feeling like telling out to anyone. it actually made me think too much. was it just me or was it the real fact? i dont know. i was totally confuse. wanted to cry. but did not. i control. my eyes were watery though. ya. then after school. so terribly wanted to go out thanks to 'someone' did not. i was like so stress up and wanted to go out. and then this thing happen. i was horribly pissed. totally. i stomp myself home. if i know this were to happen then i would rather stay back in school. so ya. took the MRT to yishun. then took a cab home again. i was like going to cry in the cab thinking of what happen today. but like CONTROL. no choice. reached home. mum was at home.told her i was tired but i wasnt i just wanted to cry or to be left alone. so ya. i locked my room door and i did cry. felt better now. ya. then after i cry i zzz. haha. maybe i was tired afterall.

then. woke up around 8pm. ate dinner. and now still using the computer. just only cassandra called me. ya. its been long time i have not talk to her.ya. so yep. tomorrow around ten in the morning there will be some singtel people coming to repair my house phone line. its like abit spoil. dont know due to what also. so ya. going to stop here. and not to forget EOY is like this coming friday. GOSH! thats fast. going to stop here for now. so blog soon. byes.

`shedontknowwhatisgoingthrough.SHEISLOST.

MAYBE im right.
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Friday, September 23, 2005

god `

11:45 AM

Hello. im back, with a song up in my blog. i love this song ((: its so nice to me. maybe not to you. anyways who cares. HAHA. i think im in love with three colours.black.white.LIME GREEN!oh my gosh. HAHA. so ya. im just too lame today. so today what happen? i forgot. wait let me try to recall. ERM.ERM.oh ya.

Alright.here it goes.today had biology for the first two periods.it kind of rocks somehow. i was able to understand a little bit. its better than nothing. DEOXYGENATED BLOOD : PULMONARY ARTERY. OXYGENATED BLOOD : PULMONARY VEIN. aint i expert. nopes. im just too clever. haha. just kidding.HAHA. okays. after biology had mathematics. there was test on gradient and blah blah. Bang- it totally sucks. i know a few only. hopefully i pass but maybe no. I DONT KNOW. then malay. it was okay. after recess had social studies.just talk and talk. no study. teacher let us rest ((: after that was History. studied on Germany. ADOLF HITLER.NAZI PARTY. AND MORE.crap man.ya. then it was character first. it was alright. and end of school.

Reach home around seven today. parents didnt nag at all.WONDERFUL! haha. anyways im going to study very soon. so bye bye. im a nerd.im a nerd.A NERD IN A MAKING. woooosh!

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

MAYBE im right.
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Thursday, September 22, 2005

toot

10:45 AM

Heys.i change my blogskin again. yes again. and maybe again soon. HAHA. im too bored. i see first, because now end of the year coming soon. its like next friday. its so scary!! argh. i have not been studying yet. i only know what i can only remember. THATS ALL. freak! this is so sick. bang- today had english oral. it was okay. ya. went home aroubd 4.50. then took a cab home from yishun because it was raining and then reached home around 5.15pm. HAHA. then tomorrow will be having my mathematic test on chapter 10. that is so like ARGH.hate it so much. i haven learn yet, maybe later i go and study. I MUST STUDY. okays. i want to stop here. so blog soon. ((:

`ihavetolovemathstopassmaths-

MAYBE im right.
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

am i myself. am i NATASHA?

12:31 PM

HEYS.i kind of lazy to blog actually but nevermind since i have nothing much to do other than my studies.ya.i will start of by what happen yesterday then today. okays? should be alright. Here it goes.

Yesterday.HMM.First period was like malay.i feel so great because i did my karangan(composition).can u believe it? i did my malay homework at home. i usually last minute do in school one but this time i did at home. anyways it was raining kind of heavily so had physical education in the dont know where. it was near the hall where the table tennis room there. ya. played table tennis.i actually realised i wasnt a good player at all. like duh!haha.after that had recess. then the rest all okays.

Today was the most sickening day ever. I GUESS.firstly in the morning had Food and Nutrition Practical Examination. it was a total drag.had to like bring LOADS AND LOADS of stuff i need to bring. DRAG! yup. then cook the stuff but my jelly was unsuccessful. HAHA. then like dont care.so ya the other food turn out okays ((: then after that was recess. then came MATHEMATICS. talk about quadratic graphs. BANG. i hate it in total. im always poor in my graph but EOY will come out. so tried to listen. NATASHA listen? YES!!after two periods of mathematics then had physics. i tried to make myself awake. i need to understand or else i will flung my physics and then it will affect my combine science mark. so ya i did listen. FORCE. ENERGY. BLABLABLA. yeps. then had JULIA GABRIEL! today was a boring one. we did some debate discussion for next week. so just write down points only. after school stayed back till 4.30. because 3.30 had my biology test which i merily going to fail it. im sure i will not do well. especially my essay. 10 marks i write dont know how many lines only. TADA! thats so RAH. nevermind. so went home straight away after school. so yup.

AND.tomorrow will be having my social studies test. SOURCE BASED QUESTION. haha. ya. then will be having my oral soon. SCARED. hehe. hopefully i will do well which i better do. HOPEFULLY.so ya thats all okays. byes ((:

`sheneedsamotivatortomakehertoSTUDY-

MAYBE im right.
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Monday, September 19, 2005

LIFE ISNT PERFECT.

3:45 AM

Hey. i have no idea why i put my title for today ' LIFE ISNT PERFECT'. haha. weird right?. today im totally weird. its the fact. i actually wanted to study. BUT. had to go out later. some wedding invitation. THAT SUCKS.i know ive been eyeing for some nasi briyani but not NOW!!i want to study. and im serious. exam in 13 days. i am not totally prepared. this totally pissed me. DARN. i still haven do my time plan. and i still haven try out my practical exam food yet. im scared it will turn out - yikes. HELP. its like in two days time. ARGH. and help!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE NO MOOD ANYMORE TO BLOG.SO BYES.

`sheneedsmoretimetosettlestuff.

MAYBE im right.
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Sunday, September 18, 2005

STUDY.

8:32 AM

HEYS. this week just sucks. had a some sort a big arguement with my father. and he took away my handphone. that totally sucks. it happen on thursday night. was like shouting hear and there. think my father is just too much. whatever he is i dont care anymore. he just cant stop giving comments on this and that. it totally pissed me off. damn that really sucks. now my phone is taken away because he say i use the handphone too much. yes i do use the phone but does he ever see my bill reach $100? no right ! and now he take it away for dont know how many years. he say my handphone belongs to him. he pay for it. erm. like since when. i use my money and buy because i was the one who wanted to change the phone desperately last time. so fine. i did save and now u take it away and saying that it is urs. what the hell?.

Anyways. yesterday was raining in the morning. so had assembly in class. then had reading period. i was reading this story book i borrowed from my friend on wednesday. 'elegance' . for the first time i was reading the whole reading period. and i did not even turn to look around. i was in my own world. it was super nice. im in love with the book. HAHA. when the bell rang i was like 'ARGH'. its like i want to continue reading it. but my english teacher came in. ya. had oral practice. will be having my oralnext week but dont know when. so lets just wait. then did comprehension exercise. it was okay. after that had project work period. then recess. as per normal. MEETING. but ya it was a short one. then go recess. after recess everything went on pretty well. after school went out with denise to LIANG COURT. ya. she bought her stuff for FNN practical. yups.then went to Junction 8. reach home about nearly seven. okays.

This tuesday during FNN period will be practical exam. im very scared because im afraid im not able to finish it within the two hours time limit. i haven do time plan yet. thats no GOOD ! haha.

Oh ya. there is this paper where my form teacher gave the whole class saying that how much marks i need to get roughly to pass my final year examinations. -

ENGLISH - 57
MALAY - 43 ( i can fail it !! ((: )
MATHEMATICS - 51
COMBINE SCIENCE (biology and physics) - 61
COMBINE HUMANIITIES - 51
FNN - 51

im very scared for my science. i need 61 marks out of 100. that means i need to pass my science ! ARGH

`imaNERD? -

MAYBE im right.
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Thursday, September 15, 2005

tada. LOL

11:15 AM

HEYS. so yup today is wednesday. like any normal wednesday, had chapel service. So sat at the basement and talk and talk. then had mother tongue. it was kind of fun because i did all my work. im so happy because of that. think you guys may find it lame and rubbish but its the fact. YA. then had english. did a little bit of oral practiced because only had one period. after that was BIOLOGY. teacher was teaching on chapter 10. some new chapter. find it okay and abit interesting. i manage to stay awake through out ! CLAP!then. had the normal usual everyday meeting with our disciplin teacher.

Today the meeting was like very scary i guess. because he keep on asking all the student leaders to check and check their classmates socks. it was quite a drag but then no choice. just listen. the disciplin teacher isnt satisfied with the secondary 3 behaviour during chapel service or whatever. i just listen and listen only to what the disciplin teacher say. HAHA. then ya. dismissed for recess when the bell is going to ring in 5 minutes time. its like all no time to eat and went up late for lesson. HAHA. ya. then the rest went of pretty well.

After school went to City Hall. i mean suntec city. then ya around 6.30 then reached home. now planning to do my work. so HAHA. got to go.

- shelovesdoingthingsshehates `

MAYBE im right.
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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

horrible? PART 2

12:10 PM

SOMEONE JUST KILL ME. im so dead. i got the food and nutrition all done. and i save it. when i open it guess what. it become some kind of code like thing, with alot of squares. its like alien language or what?. im in desperate need of microsoft word. thanks to me. i lost the serial key of the CD.and ya wonderful right? NOW MY FOOD AND NUTRITION COURSE WORK. just went down the drain. NO MOOD. NO MOOD. its like my work!!!!!!my life!!!!!!i put in so much effort into it.from FINDING RECIPES to time plan for everything. i thought if im done with food and nutrition then i can start studying other subject.but. ARGH. this totally pissed me off. this is a DRAG.A TOTAL DRAG.

- herworkwaschangeintoalientedlanguage `

MAYBE im right.
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horrible?

10:16 AM

HEYS. today was im not so sure that good. ya. now everyday like no recess. because our disciplin teacher wants all secondary three to report during recess.ya. and well yesterday was okay but today the whole secondary three had spot check for SOCKS. yes. it was a drag though. HAHA. because i got caught. they seriously want it to be 10 cm above shoe, the ankle there.10 cm ? YES. while almost the whole secondary three went recess. a big group of us had to remain because our socks were to low. so very well i pulled it up. doesnt want much of nagging or getting school service even more.then a marshall will use a ruler to check whether its 10 cm. erm.i was like excuse me(in my heart) my socks its like already okay. there isnt anyway to pull it up anymore. but i decided not to say it out. i think while im blogging this blog entry. i musnt expose any school name or teacher. later if i were to do that and i get caught. wonderfully there will not be chance for me to study in school anymore. ya. well its part of disciplin. so cant complain much. but. BANG. i had no recess. NO FOOD. NO DRINK. i cant concerntrate in class when im hungry. i wanted to sleep but teacher all like dont allow. because a classroom is a place to study. very well i will study. HAHA.

tomorrow recess also got spot-check. so now my socks will be high. yup. HIGH ((:
no comments. HAHA. its okay. im totally fine with that. if they want another spot check then check. i tuck in my uniform, pull up my socks, my fringe are up(sometimes), im wearing a black hair accesorries,school socks and hmm im not wearing colour earsticks because i lost them all. so ya. i followed the school rule. and i shall not get caught anymore.

2 hour school service or DC awaits me. see what day i can do. LOL.

so. ya. next topic. 30 SEPTEMBER 2005. english paper 1 and 2. FINAL YEAR EXAM. is so near. very near. that totally sucks. 2 weeks of examination. and about 3 more weeks to it. HOW FAST IS IT? that fast.haha.

erm. did i use any wrong words that hurt any teacher or the school name. im afraid i did. someone tell me. DID I?

MAYBE im right.
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005

MY TRUE FEELLINGS

10:02 AM

I dont even know whether to start this blog entry with a 'HEY' or not. im seriously not me. ya its like AGAIN. im totally not me. thats fact okays! get me. i actually feel like banging all my angers from the past all here.but i just cant! its like excuse me.people are reading my blog. sometimes i just feel like locking my blog just for a single entry where all my true feelings can be all out. and then happily delete the entry and done. whatever it is. you guys may find it stupid for all i care. like who cares. some of you dont even know what im feeling now. instead no one knows. i just dont want to tell any human beings. just dont be stupid and give me and idea on talking to my cats who cant even reply me at all except for their irritating MEOWINGS. everything to me is irritating. even things that are not living things. whats gone into me. do i sound like im getting depression to you? the answer is NO. i aint getting depression. im just pissed off by life. yes BY LIFE. and if you ask me whats wrong with my life. let me tell this to you. EVERYTHING. everything in life cant sucks even more.its been long i have ever use this sentence but i just have to use it now. ' LIFE IS A TRASH' . trash as in like rubbish. ya it smells so rotten. and my life is rotten. i have no idea what im talking about.im just letting go of everything little by little.because i just cant stand it anymore.

DAMN. im so pissed now. and my dad is keeping on asking why can our religion eat this and why cant our religion eat that. HOW IN THE WORLD YOU EXPECT ME TO KNOW.do you think i even bother. go ask god. AND now what.talking about dog. why cant we touch dog.I DONT CARE im so pissed and you jolly well ask me stupid question. later when i sream at you. you blame me for being rude. can you understand me for once. all you know is to control and to control. what the hell you know about me. huh? do you even ask me and advice me when you read my diary. do you even care. all you did was to scold me. and threaten to tear it. let see. dont say you never like a girl when you are in secondary school. dont come and lie. if you dont. guess that you are a total nerd, gay or what so ever. all you did was to shout and scream for me to stop liking the guy. what the hell. do you ever talk nicely to me? only when you need help. tell me whats your true problem.

you guys can just see. how horrible my life is. my family isnt broke or what. they are practically financially stable. just that their attitude sucks. do they need to attend parenting talk. just when at home things are getting worse. then came my life stuff. one by one problems are adding. all this are just too much. just too much. i feel like exploding. i want to break myself into tiny lilttle bits that no one can even fixed me back. i want to run away from reality. i dont belong here. this is just not me. this is JUST NOT ME. i aint myself anymore. im controlling some parts of this horrible life. i just cant tell. its just me and my heart and mind. i wish to tell but i just cant. something is stopping me from telling it to you guys.I HATE THIS.

at first it was them and then came you. but because of you i give up hope to everything. since you will be just friends then its okay with me. but all i can tell is that i cant bring myself to lay my eyes on any other guys. im stopping all this thing. all i want is study. and ya. i will study.

eileen. hey you didnt make me sad or what. you made me realised that i have to study. what you told me actually made me have more motivation to study. yes it had an impact. but nope. i aint going to be sad about it. im happy. because once again.my heart is open for me to study. im not saying that i will forget him but i will just let it be. no use crying like what i did in the past right. i know i must be strong. ((:

yup. going to stop here.think that all this are crap to you? fine then. i dont care much.

Breaking down and noway to stop
The rain keeps falling and so do i.
You cant see what your doing to me
Everyone thinks they know
But they dont have any idea
They dont understand the pain i hide.
Everyday spent on the verge of tears
And none sees the hurt inside.

MAYBE im right.
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Sunday, September 11, 2005

FAINTS

4:54 AM

HEY.

Oh god.did i really woke up that late today? The answer is like DUH.of course i did woke up late. and its like that late.12.30pm.while i guess everybody having and eating their lunch.and im still in my dream world and insist on not waking up.Thats horrible.i sound so lazy.but ya.even my mother call me a lazy girl. i have been lazying around the whole week. GOSH! i seriously dont know what going to happen to me.

Anyways. im feeling terribly weak. im energyless. is like my blood pressure went low or something like that. I have no idea. the word that can describe what will happen to me in awhile will be FAINT. ya.thats the correct word. i have not been drinking or eating any sweet food or drinks for the whole week because im sick. AND now im even sick. damn. someone get me some SODA drinks.

My computer isnt helping me much. its so sick in the brain! the internet connection will always log off by itself. stupidity! so irritating. IM PISSED. this whole thing is so killing me inside out. i want a new internet connection OR GET THIS REPAIR! this is so not cool okays! this ULTRA uncool! i hate this so much.

I better stop here. so byes.

` sheisleavinginhernightmare -

MAYBE im right.
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Saturday, September 10, 2005

BANG part two

1:10 PM

OKAYS.im back again.tell you something weird about me. IM IN LOVE with too many things.If i were to list them all down. its like a never ending chart. Now im currently in love with. YA ALOT OF THINGS. here is the list. but some stuff i aint going to write okays((:

first : that picture ^
second : Changi Airport
third : Swenson
fourth : my blogskin
and perhaps MORE.

damn.i think i need to start to be in love with my studies.i seriously need. gosh! rachel almost done with all her holiday assignment. oh may god really bless me this time round. i think there will be another gun shot sound today in my life.

BANG !

told you. thats like another 'bang'. KILL ME.

imcryingforhelpafterbeingshotDOWN`

MAYBE im right.
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BANG !

6:08 AM

HEYS !

as you can see the title for today is BANG. there's two defination though. yes two. First defination : is that today totally rocks as in like a BLAST ! Second defination : i can shoot myself anytime because something or someone is killing me not physically but mentally.

GET IT ?

Ya. good. think i better start writing in good and proper English so i can do well for my future examination. start practicing now. im so hardworking right? lame. okays.back to main point. i should start of by the good thing that happened today then followed by the bad thing. SOUNDS GREAT? okays. so bear with me. ((:

first sound . *BANG* yes!woke up today no one at home.means i can be the QUEEN OF THE HOUSE. as in like for awhile only. ya. im suppose to study but i was stuck using the computer from like 9.30 till this very very moment ! i have not touch any single book at all. ya. and YEAH ! my fever is gone ! for the time being i guess. ya. but i still feel weak. but im recovering and thats a good sign. ya. i cant wait for school on monday. but im scared because i did not return the class key ! i scared later morning assemble announcement say ' secondary 3 compassion chairperson please see Operation Manager Mr Nara after reading period for not returning the class key last friday ' . DAMN. thats so the. nevermind. *HIDE FACE* help me someone. but i dont care just say i was in need to rush home. ya. its the fact what ? dont believe see my passport or call my parent.how stupidity can this get.

second sound. *BANG* damn! girls' day out to Changi Airport cancel. such a drag man. can you believe it this whole week of holiday i have not step out of the house to go out with my friends! GET IT. this is so killing me inside out. and im feeling totally.I DONT KNOW. there is something seriously making me so pissed and i cant find who what or why. This is so SICK. the more i stay at home the more sick i will get. i just have no mood to study. NO MOOD. the books are still staring at me. DRENCHED! this totally sucks. examinations are drawing near. very near. i need school. i need anything that motivates me to study. HELP ME! i need people who understand all secondary three subjects. or i might just faint now.

last sound. *BANG*

` shelayflatonthegroundCRYING-

MAYBE im right.
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Friday, September 09, 2005

shoot

1:28 PM

OH GOD.someone just skinned me alive. slice me into pieces. and cook curry out of my meats. Final year exams are like in twenty five more days.and i really mean TWENTY FIVE DAYS.not years not months.but DAYS. help me. let me tell you this. i flung so badly for my common test 2. get it. i pass my language and humanities. My languages are like totally bad ! my malay is okay but my english. HELL OF A PROBLEM. humanities isnt that bad. Social studies can be fun if you understand. History. READ AND UNDERSTAND. but biology and physics? that is totally ARGH! they are the world horrible subject ever. i dont mean to criticize but u cant help hating it. especially Physics. dont know what in the world is it all about. ACCELERATION? GRAVITY? DENSITY? bugger man! RAHH. i hate theory for biology ! BANG. i dont mind having practical like what we do in science lab. for example cutting frogs or goats heart. but theory is a NONO.damn! seriously stress now. TONS AND TONS of books are infront of me. waiting for me to open them.but guess what. I HAVE NO MOOD.what do you expect. i hate this very NATASHA. i want to do well like what i did in semester one. i no longer want to slack ! im very serious now. it aint any joking matter. i want to start mugging. i want to be in the mood to study. not to use computer all day long. SUFFER FIRST ENJOY LATER. yeah ! thats the right thing. i will study and take my examination and then i can enjoy life. and at the rate im going. this whole thing will lead me to no where ? HOW ? i need to study. WAKE UP NATASHA. i have to do seriously well for this final year examination. as in really well. if i dont. i might end up. I DONT KNOW. i dont understand anything and everything.THIS TOTALLY KILLS ME.

bang !
shoot me !

MAYBE im right.
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DAMN

11:37 AM

Damn.
this is the worse week
IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
rahh.
i was suppose to be mugging
ALL WEEK.
but guess what?
i fell sick.
drenched!
and this is the most
undeserve holiday ever.
usually holiday was for me to enjoy life.
hang around with friends.
but!
IM STUCK AT HOME.
having a terrible high fever.
and some stupid other
sickness.
MAN.
that totally
didn't rocks.
BANG.
hate it loads.
and i want to get well by tomorrow.
cause i wanna go changi airport and have fun.
the girls' day out thing.
yup.
hopefully my mum allow.
i think my fever is coming again.
I BETTER GO AND EAT MEDICINE.
okays.
byes

MAYBE im right.
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Thursday, September 08, 2005

the world taste so BITTER

9:05 AM

DAMN.
im terribly sick.
and i
HATE IT.
i cant enjoy
my HOLIDAYS.
rahh.
this is killing me.
today morning went
DOCTOR.
on the way there.
i like can FAINT-
anytime.
went to the doctor.
took my temperature.
39 degree celcius.
i was like.
huh?
SO HIGH.
then i also
got a little bit of
SORE THROAT.
RUNNING NOSE.
and more of running nose.
what a drag.
i felt like VOMITING!
ya.
eww.
i hate sick.
then the doctor.
gave me
like alot of
MEDICINE.
from-
running nose medicine
to vomit medicine.
to lozenges.
and also ANTIBIOTIC.
its so big!
the antibiotic like
GOD DAMN BIG.
so hard to swollow.
always stuck at my throat.
BANG.
ya.
i want the fever to go
AWAY.
suppose today go out with friends.
but can't
IM TOO SICK.
so must postpone.
i have not done my
HOLIDAY ASSIGNMENT YET.
die !!
i just realised that.
when you are terribly sick.
EVEN PLAIN WATER TASTE DAMN BITTER.
ya.
thats all for now.
take cares.

<3>

MAYBE im right.
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VOMIT

4:30 AM

i cant stop vomiting !

MAYBE im right.
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Wednesday, September 07, 2005

SICK

11:22 AM

oh god.
my FEVER.
it ain't curing.
don't feel like going
to the
DOCTOR.
my parent forced me.
BUT
i ignored.
ya.
don't know what kind
of fever is this.
if tomorrow im still sick.
THEN
need to go doctor.
YA.
okays.

tata.
<3>

MAYBE im right.
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sneezing

6:36 AM

HEYS `
today aint a good day
IM
SNEEZING
AND
SNEEZING
all day long.
RAHH.
my nose is as red as
A CLOWN
nose !!!
i use nearly 2 box
of tissue and
still COUNTING.
i cant take it anymore.
MY NOSE IS LIKE
TEARING APART.
anytime.
what a drag.
I WOKE UP IN THE MORNING.
and discovered
i had
HIGH FEVER.
i was shivering all
night-
while talking to cassandra till
like 6.55am.(today)
we had night talk almost everyday.
haha.
slept with the phone the
WHOLE NIGHT.
YA.
i can't STOP SNEEZING.
after taking panadol.
and
some running nose medicine
CALLED 'chlorpheniramine'.
i still not feeling
ANY BETTER.
im just too lazy to go
TO THE DOCTOR.
i feel like sleeping
all day.
BUT I FOUND OUT.
the more i sleep-
THE MORE SICK
i will be.
RAHH!
can anybody help me
CURE.!
maybe tomorrow going out
with
CASSANDRA.
CELESTE.
"girls' day out"
LOL.
ya planning to go
CHANGI AIRPORT -
swenson.
yups.
I NEED TO DIG MONEY OUT.
haha.
im broke.
TOTALLY*
this is killing me.
but if im still SICK.
then maybe thursday then go`
TONIGHT THEN I CONFIRM.
flu!!!
GO AWAY PLEASE!
IM BEGGING YOU.
i want to go out.
this is totally.
RAHH!
sniff
sniff
this is KILLING ME.
i hate being sick.
AND.
i got it today.
"THANKS ALOT"
*DAMN*
i want to
get CURE.
any idea anyone
just hope i dont get cough.
*cross fingers*
okays.
i better stop here.
my hand aching.
so ya.
blog soon.
((:

MAYBE im right.
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Tuesday, September 06, 2005

HOLIDAY`

10:29 AM

HEYS.
crap.
haha.
finally im back to BLOG.
miss my computer
so
SO MUCH.
haha.
yup.
came back from malaysia
THIS MORNING.
zzz.
haha.
tired.
think i going to blog
ultra-long
TODAY.
if i have the mood.
((:
LOL.
okays.
ya.
I MISS SINGAPORE.
real fact.
I AIN'T JOKING.
hmm.
ya.
lets start from day one.
DAY ONE.
FRIDAY.
ya.
left house at 4.30 pm.
take agency bus down to
SECOND LINK.
reach second link.
TAKE another bus.
(malaysia travel bus)
ya.
after scanning passport.
and
SO.
then took the bus.
at around 7.10pm.
had toilet break like that.
then
7.45 reach at another area.
to eat dinner.
ya.
ate fried noodle.
then as i was buying drink.
GUESS WHAT I SAW.
flies!!
As in alot!
like 100?
or more.
kind of disgusted.
EWW.
haha.
then left.
ya.
in the bus.
SO THE COLD.
i did not bring my jacket.
so i had to suffer.
then..
erm-
shall not say.
ya .
after that.
the journey was like LONG.
then on the way.
saw an accident.
ya.
SCARY.
a car crash.
and.
and.
I SAW A DEAD BODY.
erm.
don't know whether pass away already.
or not.
because.
it was too DARK.
ya.
DAY TWO
then i slept till 5.30am.
ya.
i woke up for awhile
to find out where in the world are we at.
BUT.
no one knows.
so.
i continue to
SLEEP.
zzz.
then at 8am.
reach the borders of THAILAND-
ya.
then we walk around.
saw alot of clothes.
and stuff.
ya.
i bought FOOD.
and TITBITS.
((:
then got alot of mosquito.
HAHA.
i 'kena' bite .
LOL.
haha.
my blood too sweet.
KIDDING.
hehe.
then.
around 11.20 am.
headed for KELANTAN.
rahh.
the road was so bumpy.
its like any minute-
the bus will
TURN OVER.
then when reached
check into the hotel.
relax here and there.
then left the hotel for lunch.
I ATE A&W.
yummy.
yups.
then walk around till 5.30pm.
after that.
went to the sea area.
ATE SOMEKIND OF SEAFOOD ROJAK.
okays.
then suppose to go night market.
but too tired.
i just stayed in the bus with some other people.
around 9.30 went back to the hotel.
EAT AGAIN-
haha.
yups.
then later i slept.
DAY 3/FINAL.
next morning woke up around 5.30am.
then left the hotel for terengganu.
reach there around 10.00 am.
like that.
EAT ROTI PRATA with egg.
yummy!
HAHA.
then i bought 3 turtle key chain.
and a shirt.
yups.
very cute!
LAME.
then went back to the bus at around
12.00 noon.
after that alight at another stop.
people go buy.
DRIED FISH.
stinks!
haha.
but worse still.
alot of flies.
rahh.
I KILL SOME FLIES THOUGH.
haha.
kind of fun killing them.
but its quite DISGUSTING.
haha.
really.
BLEHX.
then i sleep AGAIN.
i think i dreamt alot of things.
HAHA.
ya.
zzzz.
then around 5.30.
stop to buy PAU.
ya.
then.
i continue sleeping the whole LONG JOURNEY.
ya. then around 11.30 like that. reach SECOND LINK.
ya.
very troublesome because had to carry
EVERYTHING DOWN.
heavy!!
haha.
then.
ya.
settle stuff.
then reach home around 2 am plus.
so tired.
SO.
i bump off to bed.
ZZZZ.
woke up today.
((:
around 11 am.
miss the computer so much.
so i use.
TILL LIKE NOW.
ya.
then.
CASSANDRA CALLED ME.
she say maybe she will have to MIGRATE
to AUSTRALIA.
ya.
i dont know what to say.
its her decision.
yup.
hmm.talk to suzanne for awhile.
in the afternoon.
YA.
eileen nowadays busy.
haha.
so ya.
RAHH.
now so bored.
like got people online.
but they also very
BORED.
bangg.
im stopping here.
so ya.
BLOG SOON.

MAYBE im right.
- - - - - - - - - - - -

Friday, September 02, 2005

tomorrow off to malaysia

9:20 AM

HEYS.
hmm.
actually wanted to blog yesterday.
But can't
because had to go to
CELEBRATE MY NEPHEW
birthday.
ya.
finally 5 years old.
((:
i thought him to sing the
MADAGASCAR BIRHTHDAY
song.
HAHA.
he actually can remember it well.
ya.
its quite stupid .
of me teaching him that
maybe i was too bored.
ANYWAYS.
yesterday had -
TEACHERS DAY CELEBRATION.
at first started of with ACES WORKOUT.
haha.
i did not do.
((:
hehe.
then went up to the hall.
got some performaces.
BUT.
i cannot stand it!
i mean not the performances.
BUT.
the.
RAHH.
'class chairman and vice chairman please...'
DO THIS
DO THAT.
and
i was at the gallery with my class.
and guess what.
RUN DOWN
RUN UP.
then half hour later.
RUN DOWN.
RUN UP.
wahh!
i can't even like sit and talk for long.
DOTS.
haha.
whatever it is.
I also dont care much.
((:
yup.
then dissmiss about 10 plus.
me.
nichola.
sherry.
hui sian.
went back to
MARYMOUNT CONVENT.
met alot of people.
ya.
BUT I STILL FING IT
boring.
haha.
reach there about 11.
then me.sherry.nichola.
start to eat!
WE SO MISS
THE FOOD.
i ate crab meat.
then.
my beloved
BAKED POTATO TURKEY HAM.(its halal!!!)
there is two halal stall.
how HEAVEN IS THAT.
in PHS.?
one only.
and everyday.
is like
'' MAK CIK. NASI.TELUR.SAYUR.KUAH.''
*translate*
"AUNTY. RICE. EGG. VEGETABLE. GRAVY"
its like everyday i eat like that.
how sick can i get.
rahh.
ok.
back to main topic.
ya.
then me.nichola.sherry
left.
WE WENT TO
junction 8.
AND ITS GOD DAMN BORING.
walk dont know how many rounds.
but
thank god we took neoprint.
but after that.
we were still bored.
LOL.
haha.
then we sat at KFC.
and then walk around AGAIN.
at about 4.45 then left.
went home.
reach home about 5.20
ya.
and ya.
left the house to go to
celebrate Danial birthday at his house.
which is at WOODLAND.
thank god my dad came home.
so no need to go take the MRT down.
but.
i was like being drag to go there.
I WANTED TO STAY HOME.
and
SLEEP.
but my plan had to be cancel!
RAHH.
whatever-
ya.
ate dinner there.
then had
birthday cake.
ya.
CHOCOLATE!
my favourite.
but eww.
got cream.
i guess im fussy.
HAHA
but ya.
i still eat.
((:
then watch movie.
till 9.00pm.
ya.
then go home.
reach home.
i use the computer.
for like half and hour.
then i sleep.
^.^
yups.
TODAY.
woke up around 10 am
ya.
zzz.
haha.
i was actually still sleeping.
HAHA.
LOL.
haha.
then
i watch tv.
chat on msn.
till 1 plus.
and i
SLEEP AGAIN.
till 3.
wah.so nice.
i feel so fresh.
so here i am still
USING THE internet.
haha.
ANYWAYS.
tomorrow evening going malaysia for holiday.
YA.
its like tour bus kind of thing.
RAHH.
so means tomorrow after school.
STRAIGHT AWAY MUST GO HOME.
haii.
cannot stay back
or hang around.
Nevermind.
ill be back on sunday.
YA.
and monday i need to go back to school.
got FNN lesson.
'sian'
YA.
haha.
okays.
lah.
i will stop blogging for now.
and ya.
((:
okays.
byeee !

MAYBE im right.
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